Another Australian :)

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Wed Apr 29, 2015 8:26 pm

Hi everyone!
My name is Allison, but feel free to call me Ally or Azalea (my chosen name for my craft), if you like.
I'm 27 and I'm from Sydney Australia. I've been practicing the craft for about 3 years and have been part of a circle for about 2 1/2 of those 3. It's been great, although there have been some downs as well as ups.

I began following the Norse pantheon late last year, when the leader of our circle asked each of us to choose a particular pantheon we wanted to work with, and do a table of correspondences on that pantheon (basically a list of gods and goddesses, their attributes, etc). Little did I know until I was told by my mother, I actually have Norwegian ancestry, so it seems only natural that the Norse was my pantheon of choice!

During the time I began to work with the Norse pantheon, I first was drawn to Thor and Freyja, but that changed recently when my best friend (also a member of the circle) and I both felt a "
pull"
of sorts toward working with Loki. At first we were reluctant due to his reputation as a trickster, but after biting the bullet and actually starting to work with him we have found him to be the most loving and hilariously funny deity we've encountered. My best friend now works more closely with Fenrir, while I work with Loki and Hela. After speaking with Thor about the change, he told me that he was helping me ease into the process of working with the gods, while it was Loki who was going to be my patron.


One of the other reasons I recently joined this forum (which I found through Tumblr) is because yesterday I found myself having what I would call a spiritual crisis. Unlike most Lokeans I've seen on the forum, I don't seem to have a working Godphone, and I'm not sure if its something I'm doing wrong or if that's just me, if that makes sense. I know not everyone does have the ability to hear/see/feel the gods and goddesses, but I guess being surrounded by people who are able to has made me feel left out. I do also suffer from Depression for which I'm on medication, so maybe that's affecting it? Thoughts and opinions would be much appreciated. I'm not proud of it and I have apologized to the gods for saying this, but yesterday I fell into a depression and basically told my best friend that if the gods don't want to talk to or interact with me, then I'll reconsider following them. She then told me that Loki has told her that he wants me to be a godspouse;
my response to that, at the time, was that I don't want to be a godspouse to a deity who only interacts with me through her/when the two of us are together.
Has anyone else ever had any of these problems, or been through anything similar? I guess I'm just feeling a bit broken right now and reassurance would really help. Thanks for reading.

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by journeyintoinsanity on Wed Apr 29, 2015 8:50 pm

Firstly, welcome! Smile
Secondly, have you tried other ways of communication? Like runes, cards, or a pendulum? We aren't all of us wired for godphones, as you've said, but there are still ways of interacting. I'm just coming out of a horrendous experience where I was completely cut off from Loki. Now that we're able to "
talk"
again, it's not been the smoothest of rides. I'm trying to figure out if I do have a godphone, or if I was played with and tricked into having one for a while before my bad incident.
avatar
journeyintoinsanity

Posts : 1578
Join date : 2015-01-17
Age : 39

View user profile https://journeyintoinsanity.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Wed Apr 29, 2015 8:53 pm

Thanks Jouneyintoinsanity Smile
Thanks for your reply. My friend and I usually communicate with them through the Spirit board ( know ouijas and spirit boards are often frowned upon, but we protect ourselves and its always worked well). I do have a pendulum as well, maybe I should try it. I have had a couple of experiences when I've heard or felt things out of the blue, it just doesn't seem to work when I'm actually trying lol.

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Amber on Wed Apr 29, 2015 9:42 pm

Hello! Welcome! <
3

Amber

Posts : 112
Join date : 2015-04-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Wed Apr 29, 2015 10:20 pm

Thanks Amber Smile

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Just.Christine on Wed Apr 29, 2015 11:49 pm

Welcome Azalea!

A lot of us here have challenges working with our various deities. Everyone has different methods of godphoning that works for them. Some use runes, tarot and/or pendulum. Other's use automatic writing, get readings from professionals or whatever else works.

Depression itself can interfere with our divine connection but you add medication to that and it can really throw a damper on your communications.

Most of us here are godspouses but no one has to be a godspouse if they don't to be one. I hope you can find a workaround for your communication blocks. They're very frustrating and disheartening.
avatar
Just.Christine
Site Admin

Posts : 1317
Join date : 2014-12-09
Age : 51
Location : Pennsylvania

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Wed Apr 29, 2015 11:57 pm

Thanks Poppy Smile
I've had a few hours to think about everything, and mostly I just feel guilty over everything I said, now. Maybe I'll make an offering later tonight to make it up to them.

I do agree on the medication point: I'm wondering if antidepressants, for example, can block things since they're designed to prevent things like hallucinations and intrusive thoughts. Not that I'm going to go off them just so I can experience something - that would be stupid lol.
I am open to the idea of being a godspouse - my friend channeled Loki once for me recently (her channeling is a new thing that came around the end of last year after a long dry spell of nothing happening for her, too) so I know He is interested in working with me and I have had contact with Him;
when I said I didn't want to be a godspouse I think I mostly said it out of frustration because I was already feeling low. These low moods really do get in the way sometimes.

Thanks for your reply, it's been helpful Smile

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Corannhena on Thu Apr 30, 2015 12:07 am

I would say I don't have a "
godphone"
either, at least not a "
hearing"
one, but I can often feel his (and Sigyn's) energy when they're around (esp. if Loki is very close to me). Also sometimes he'll put songs/lines from movies/TV/etc. with Messages into my head (I can usually tell when it's from him 'cause it'll be really persistent and prominent, also it usually kind of comes out of nowhere), also ideas as well, but idk if those count. I had a system where I used my pendulum to have him spell things to me, but I've since "
upgraded"
to an alphabet chart (also used w/pendulum) which is a lot faster. (My system is still linked in my sig, though, if you want to give it a try. Be advised it does NOT always work--the "
connection"
sometimes goes wonky--and may not work the first time you try it out--it was actually a complete failure for me when I first tried it and I didn't attempt it again for like two weeks.)
avatar
Corannhena

Posts : 340
Join date : 2014-12-31
Age : 38
Location : Oregon

View user profile http://corannhena.wordpress.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 12:20 am

Thanks, Corannhena!
I have had random things pop into my head before, but I just assumed it was my own mind coming up with them. Maybe they (some of them, at least) were some kind of attempt at contact that I ignored because I assumed it wasn't anything "
supernatural"
for lack of a better word.
You've given me something to think about. Thanks Smile

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Corannhena on Thu Apr 30, 2015 12:34 am

Yeah, discernment in that regard is kind of hard for me too. But I'll usually ask him later with the pendulum "
hey did you put X into my head"
and he'll either confirm/deny, so then I'll know for sure.
avatar
Corannhena

Posts : 340
Join date : 2014-12-31
Age : 38
Location : Oregon

View user profile http://corannhena.wordpress.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 12:36 am

The pendulum sounds like a helpful tool. I should try to find mine.

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by shadytrashvoid on Thu Apr 30, 2015 1:13 am

I think that not becoming a godspouse before you have some way to communicate with him directly is a good idea.

Godphone doesn't necessarily mean being able to hear deities. I've never been able to hear them. It more or less just refers to any way you can communicate with them. Try some of the methods listed above, and practice, practice, practice. It'll come.

Something as important as marriage should be worked out between the two beings entering into it.

One night, when I first started working with Loki, He inspired me to write out a ritual. I'm not great at putting rituals together, but this just flowed. It was completely insane. Trial by Fenrir to rid me of fear, trial by Hela to leave the old me in the underworld, finally rebirth with vows to Loki and a brand to seal it as a dedication. It was cray.

I'm actually gonna write out the story in another post, I just realised I've not told it on here yet Razz

Since then messages from him aren't as crystal clear as they were pre-dedication. They're getting there though.

shadytrashvoid

Posts : 48
Join date : 2015-04-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 1:45 am

Thanks to everyone who has replied, you've all really helped me feel better about the whole situation Very Happy

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Darkamber on Thu Apr 30, 2015 2:53 am

Welcome to the forum!

Having a "
godphone"
is very rare, and most of us don't have one.
Not having a godphone shouldn't prevent you from worshipping the gods. As others have already said, you could try divination, with tarot, runes or a pendulum.

During my first year with Loki, in 2011, He visited me often in my dreams, and that was the only interaction I had with Him. I meditated every day for half an hour to an hour. Sometimes I would visualise a place that made me happy, and invite Loki to visit.
In about February 2012, I began to hear Loki when I was awake, and by March I had a working godphone. I still meditated every day.
In May I was attacked by a malevolent entity, and my connection with my gods broke. It's still broken, so I don't have a godphone any more. That doesn't prevent me from worshipping Loki. I light candles for Him and give Him offerings. I talk to Him, even though I can't hear Him.

Deep depression can block you from hearing the gods. I have a bipolar 2 disorder, and I take anti-depressants and mood stabilisers.
I wasn't depressed during the first half of 2012, and I could hear Loki and a couple of other gods fine, so in my experience anti-depressants didn't block my godphone. I've never heard that anti-depressants works against hallucinations;
that's anti-psychotics, as far as I know. Anti-psychotics can also help against intrusive thoughts. I do believe that anti-psychotics may block communication with gods, since they can block your inner voice generator if you hallucinate voices.

_________________
Blog: Fire and Ink - The journey of a Lokean Pagan
Facebook: Amber Drake
Tumblr: Darkamber Dragon
Twitter: Darkamber Dragon
avatar
Darkamber
Site Admin

Posts : 686
Join date : 2014-12-29
Age : 51
Location : Oslo, Norway

View user profile https://darkamberdragon.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 2:57 am

Hi Darkamber, thanks for your reply. Yeah, that's an error on my part about the hallucinations, anti-psychotics prevent that, you're right.
I am also considering the possibilty that I'm just not a "
sensitive"
and that their contact with me will have to be done by other means. I guess I'm just envious of the other members of my circle, who seem to be in very clear contact with their gods and spirit guides a lot of the time.
Or, like someone mentioned before (sorry, can't remember who said it!) I just need more practice.

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Darkamber on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:04 am

Do you meditate?
It was meditation that helped me open up to my gods.

_________________
Blog: Fire and Ink - The journey of a Lokean Pagan
Facebook: Amber Drake
Tumblr: Darkamber Dragon
Twitter: Darkamber Dragon
avatar
Darkamber
Site Admin

Posts : 686
Join date : 2014-12-29
Age : 51
Location : Oslo, Norway

View user profile https://darkamberdragon.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:07 am

I do meditate but recently I've been struggling with that, too. I either can't tune things out or can't stay in deep enough to "
see"
anything. My best friend went through something similar though, so maybe it's just a temporary blockage.

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Darkamber on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:10 am

I struggled with emptying my mind in the beginning. Then I found a guided meditation that I thought was really good.
I practised with the guided meditation for a while, and then I found that I was able to clear my mind on my own.

You can download an mp3 of the meditation here:
The CD it's from is no longer for sale.

_________________
Blog: Fire and Ink - The journey of a Lokean Pagan
Facebook: Amber Drake
Tumblr: Darkamber Dragon
Twitter: Darkamber Dragon
avatar
Darkamber
Site Admin

Posts : 686
Join date : 2014-12-29
Age : 51
Location : Oslo, Norway

View user profile https://darkamberdragon.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:13 am

Thanks for that, I'll give it a try Smile

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Corannhena on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:38 am

Re: meditation: yeah, I'm not very good at it either. I hate sitting still and tend to fidget, and I'm also kind of terrible at visualising things, so all I see when I close my eyes, 90% of the time, is "
dark"
. I can't get into a "
trance state"
either.
avatar
Corannhena

Posts : 340
Join date : 2014-12-31
Age : 38
Location : Oregon

View user profile http://corannhena.wordpress.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:40 am

Yeah the trance is what I have trouble with. I'm sitting there thinking "
I can still hear everything the guide/leader is saying, surely I should be turned out by now. Why aren't I seeing anything? My foot is asleep..."
and various other thoughts.

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Corannhena on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:52 am

Ha, yeah. Loki once told me I have a 'noisy head' (meaning, a bunch of random thoughts swimming around at any given time), so that's probably a damper on my meditation/trance abilities as well.
avatar
Corannhena

Posts : 340
Join date : 2014-12-31
Age : 38
Location : Oregon

View user profile http://corannhena.wordpress.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:54 am

Haha, a noisy head. That's a good description. I probably have a noisy head too. Or an empty one lol.

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Darkamber on Thu Apr 30, 2015 4:04 am

I have to lie down to meditate. I can't reach a trance like state if I sit.

_________________
Blog: Fire and Ink - The journey of a Lokean Pagan
Facebook: Amber Drake
Tumblr: Darkamber Dragon
Twitter: Darkamber Dragon
avatar
Darkamber
Site Admin

Posts : 686
Join date : 2014-12-29
Age : 51
Location : Oslo, Norway

View user profile https://darkamberdragon.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by AzaleaMoon on Thu Apr 30, 2015 4:12 am

I'm the same, sitting does make it harder for me to focus. Lying down isn't much better but I blame the blockage for that haha

AzaleaMoon

Posts : 86
Join date : 2015-04-29

View user profile https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxazaleamoonxx

Back to top Go down

Re: Another Australian :)

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum