becoming a godspouse?

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becoming a godspouse?

Post by Lokakisa on Wed Mar 11, 2015 10:51 am

I debated whether to add this to the other godspouse thread but I didn't want to clutter it up with all my wordiness.
To be honest, the concept of mortal godspouses/lovers was somewhat foreign to me. Of course, I hadn't forgotten tales of Zeus' dalliances, and even in Egyptian lore there are tales of royalty descended from gods. Also, there were temple priestess titles like "
God's Wife of Amun"
and such. But you know, that all sounded like "
back in the day,"
not a modern thing.
Being in the Kemetic community for so long, I personally never encountered anyone who had a romantic relationship with one of the Netjeru. Kemeticism as a whole seems rather formal, not that people don't/can't practice it in a casual manner.
It wasn't until Loki came along that I could finally feel comfortable having an informal, casual spiritual relationship. Like many followers, I couldn't help but become romantically attracted to Him. But then there is all that fandom online, and I didn't know at first that godspousery was actually srs bizness.
I just didn't know how to feel about it, especially since I worried it was my HiddlesLoki fandom that was coloring my perspective. Plus He has Sigyn, and many other loves, and it's only been about four months since I decided to become Lokean, so I didn't want it to seem like I was rushing to jump on a Tumblr bandwagon or something. Besides, did He even want it?
So, I decided to splurge on a divination by Beth Wodandis. (I posted her info in the resources section.) I asked three questions directed to Loki, none of which had to do with love/marriage because she doesn't take questions like that. Among other things, I was told to get to know His other spouses, loves, and followers, and become involved with the supportive Lokean community. (Hence moving from lurker to member here. ^_^ )
Here's the funny part: the answer to my question "
How may I better serve Him?"
was basically "
let's get married!"
lol. It was very sweet and touching, really. The cards indicated that He wanted me at His side, to have no fear, and I would be treated as a Queen like his other loves.
Overall, the whole reading was adorably charming and I just squeal internally whenever I think about it.
However! I don't know what the heck to do now! My first thought was, "
really, so soon?"
And then my next thought was, "
why haven't You told me this directly??"

I don't think it would be appropriate to ask Beth or any other reader to be my divinatory wedding planner for the details.
I did notice another thread with godspouse article sources so I'll be sure to look into that. But I wanted to put this out there for some advice!

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by journeyintoinsanity on Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:02 pm

Well... congratulations are in order! Smile
My ceremony consisted of wearing a white, cotton, Bohemian-type sundress and a white gauze veil. I cast a circle of salt around the area of my backyard where the ceremony would take place. I came out, all dolled up, lit a black candle, a white candle, His red apple cinnamon candle, and a stick of incense. I then spoke my vows (that I wrote) aloud to Him. I lifted my veil, and placed the wedding ring (my great-grandmother's antique diamond, which He said He liked because it's "
vintage,"
like Him-- His words) on my left hand. Later that night, we celebrated by the firepit, had a few drinks, and grilled some food over said fire. It was nice. Simple, but nice.

My lil' opinion (for whatever it's worth) is that as long as it comes from your heart, He'll love it. Go all out or keep it simple. Just put all of yourself into it, and I don't think you can go wrong. Smile
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Darkamber on Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:10 pm

I invited Loki into my life in November 2010, and He first visited me in a dream in early December.
Then, in mid-February, He visited me in dreams three nights in a row and told me He wanted us to get married in August. I thought that was very soon to bring it up, but I was already in love with Him, so I said yes. (At first I thought He was just joking with me;
I had no idea that deities married mortals in this day and age.) He turned out to be a bit impatient and asked me in June if we could be married at the end of June instead, and so we were.

I see people advice against moving so quickly, that they say that you should take your time and get to know the deity better before marrying Them. Loki seems to act swiftly, and can be hard to resist. Smile

I had a simple ceremony. I took a purifying was and shower. I put on a new dress and new jewellery. I lit three candles and gave a triple marriage oath to Loki. I also shared food and drink with Him, and cake and sparkling wine. I had ordered a pair of silver claddagh rings with garnet hearts to use as a wedding ring for me and Him. I wear mine, and His is in a heart shaped box with "
forever"
written on the lid, on His altar.
I didn't have a "
godphone"
back then, so I couldn't hear His vows to me, but I have talked to other Lokean wives who can hear Him, and He obviously consider us to be married. (I had a "
godphone"
in 2012, but I lost it...)

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Moon Rouge on Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:33 pm

I gave Loki blood oath last year in May. He somewhat insisted and helped to make it happen like "
make up your mind right now"
. And so I did, and never was sorry for it.
However rushed it was, it was for me the major and the most serious decision.
He asked to we get married 3 months later anyway, came to me in the half dream half awake state and then during the day again. He set the date and gave me instructions how it should be done. I'm not big fan of marriages, especially ceremonies, so He stayed with me until it happened, whole 7 days 24/7 and it was not only best time I ever had, but also very revealing. We became very close in that week.
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Lokakisa on Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:32 pm

Aww, those experiences sound so sweet and lovely! Thank you so much for sharing.
And yeah, as I read through the godspouse articles I do see a lot of talk about waiting and what not, how interesting to hear that Loki acts quicker than that!
I figure now that I know, I'll just try to educate myself and wait for His instructions. I'm trying to learn divination work (runes, tarot, pendulum) so maybe something will come up. There was no feeling of immediacy from the reading, just romantic charm, warmth and support. The overarching theme was to let go of my fear and surrender to Him.
I don't have a godphone ... I don't think anyway. I'm not really sure. You know how we all second-guess ourselves.
I've had a few visions in the past of the Netjeru, but I can't really say for sure if any dreams have been significant. I did have a dream a month or so ago however, that was very sexual but lovingly intimate, unfortunately the lover's face was unclear.
Otherwise, I just go by impressions/feelings/gut instinct or whatever. "
You want cinnamon on this? Okay."
"
That's the pendulum you want me to buy? Okay."
And like if I ask what incense to burn, He typically requests cedar.
That's about the extent of it I guess. In addition to treats and offerings I share memories, sensations, feelings, opinions, TV shows, funny things, music, hopes and dreams, prayers, yadda yadda with Him, just very informal chattiness and what not, along with inviting Him to cuddle or to make Himself at home, play with my pets or touch my stuff (get your mind out of the gutters, people! ;
p ).
I get a feeling of inquisitiveness, like He takes an interest in what I'm eating or doing or my hobbies or whatever. And I'll share my excitement over my latest My Little Pony addition or say "
hey Loki check out this funny video"
or "
ooh you need to see this movie,"
etc. etc.
ETA: I've just finished reading through all the articles, and now I'm wondering if this could be considered a "
courtship"
phase with no date set yet.

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Just.Christine on Wed Mar 11, 2015 5:17 pm

Really? He said that in Beth's reading?

When I first came to Loki it was because I felt drawn to him in a powerful way. I was vulnerable as all hell and hurting. At the time I knew some entity was romantically interested in me. I was so desperately lonely and confused I thought it was Loki. I practically threw myself at him. I sensed a strong pulling back from him. It felt like 'Whoa, whoa, whoa there girl! Slow down there!'

He wasn't attracted to me and I thought, Oh well why would he be? I'm old and fat. My self esteem was at an all time low. I cried about it and felt embarrassed and ashamed. But also happy I was able to read it for what it was and not what i wanted to see. That's how I knew I could trust my instinct.

Later, I asked his help with something [the whole story is on my blog, which the url name evades me at the moment.] Loki pointed me to Odin for some reason. There was more hurt feelings and anger-anger? hell, rage! I ranted at Odin for a long time, softening all the while. I would rant and call him a 'mean, shitty old man.' After some time I realized I was sayin that with more affection behind it.

Turns out Odin has been with me over a dozen years as some entity I had no name for.

I don't know why they need/want so many wives and lovers. Are they really that insatiable? I think there's more to it than sex. I mean, yeah, of course there is, but I feel it has to do with raising power. All that libido flying around has got to make them extremely powerful. Libido is the primal creative life force. Maybe they need that juice after centuries long being buried. Of course, perhaps they love us too.

Sometimes I feel jealous. I read someone's Lokean blog entry and the sex part, modestly written, didn't bother me at all. It's when she described the affection and devotion that I came unhinged. I felt fiercely jealous for all my Lokean godspouse friends here. And also I have to admit I feel a tad resentful that Odin needs so many women. For 12 years I thought I had someone of my own. Turns out I'm just one of many. Sometime I want to cry about it. I don't do sharing well. I don't mind sharing lust. Hell, I'd even have fun at a slumber party where all the Loki and Odin godspouses get together to swap dirty stories and compare notes. It's that tender affection that tears me up inside. I don't want to hear about someone's elses love and affection.
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Re:

Post by Moon Rouge on Wed Mar 11, 2015 5:54 pm

Poppy.Meister wrote:
It's that tender affection that tears me up inside.
This is the hardest part, you nailed it!
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Lokakisa on Wed Mar 11, 2015 6:07 pm

Aww .... yeah I was jealous too when I first read about this stuff. Confused about whether to take it seriously or not, but jealous. Jealous of Sigyn and Angrboda, too. It's probably just human of us to have that gut-reaction. Jealousy then led to curiosity, respect, and an understanding that is still unfolding. The gods are great for letting you pour your heart out and berate Them, to let you work through it and get to the heart of the matter.
I like your ideas of gods' libido being more vast than we can imagine, rising power, and what libido/sex/fertility really means as a creative and connecting force. Rather than "
Odin is just a gigolo"
lololol.

I will try to paraphrase better the part of my reading about love. Again the question was, "
How may I better serve Him?"

Four of Cups - I need to snap out of my fears/misgivings and join Loki on His grand adventure.
Strength - A calm lion with a woman sitting confidently next to him. Loki wants me to be confident by His side like this image. (I told Beth this was particularly meaningful, as a Kemetic feline devotee I felt that Loki is saying He will be my "
lion of strength."
)
Five of Swords - Don't be embarrassed or ashamed, or worry about what other people think of taking this path.
Two of Cups - A romantic card. Beth's words were "
you are either already married to Loki or He wants you to be."

Queen of Wands - Confirms the romantic message, that He wants me at His side among His loves who He considers His queens.

The overall reading was support, advice, warmth and charm ... "
take my hand and don't be afraid."


I had told Beth nothing about my devotional relationship, how long it had been, the Marvel connection, nothing but "
I am purchasing this reading and here are my three questions."
When I gave her feedback, I was amused to find out that she normally doesn't associate Hiddles imagery with RealLoki, but that kept coming through the reading. I see Him as a little bit like the character but I know They are not the same.

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by erinlale on Wed Mar 11, 2015 6:50 pm

Oh, you all had actual ceremonies with planning and stuff? I'm usually such a planner and so organized but mine was totally spontaneous. Spontaneity is one of the things he's tried to encourage in me, since I can go a little OCD on my own. Anyway, mine consisted of, following months of me being afraid the door in my mind would close when I was done writing the book he came back into my life to inspire me to write, -- being afraid he and the other gods would stop talking to me, that is -- him appearing when I was falling asleep reading a novel, in that hypnogogic state of being half-asleep, putting his ring on my hand and telling me, "
There. Now quit whining, shut up and write your book."

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Lokakisa on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:03 pm

Hey that's awesome, too!
I'm such a Virgo that I wouldn't be surprised if He will be spontaneous like that for me as well. (Virgos REALLY overthink things and get bogged down in details.)
Are you writing a book about Him?

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Just.Christine on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:24 pm

There does seem to be a disquieting rush about all this marriage. Odin and Loki both seem to be snapping up brides left and right. I smell the tides of war in all of this. It's as if they're gathering/harvesting libido. I'm not saying there's no real love involved. There is. I can feel the love and affection Odin has for me. And even though Loki gently turned away my advances, he's been a great friend. I can go to him about things I won't go to Odin about.
And he loves to play Yahtzee and Farlkle! He rolled something that was really lame and I said, "
Oh that is so cheesy you tacky little fellow! Then I rolled a farkle on the first roll when it was my turn. We both got a good laugh out of that!"
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Re:

Post by journeyintoinsanity on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:26 pm

Poppy.Meister wrote:It's that tender affection that tears me up inside. I don't want to hear about someone's elses love and affection.

That's it for me, too. I read about His tenderness and love with others and it just rips me open all over again. I mean, I'm so happy for them, but I'm so sad for my own situation.
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Lokakisa on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:41 pm

I have no idea what Farlkle is, but that's great that you've maintained a friendship. ^_^
I want to apologize if anything I said drug up some bad feelings in anyone. I sure don't want to sound like a special snowflake as I share my excitement and bewilderment.
It's nice to confirm (or not) other's experiences. But I was told in my reading to remember that they are OTHER'S experiences and I will have my own.
It does make you wonder if this is a passing fad, or if the gods indeed had a big hand in it. I've seen it said that gods of any pantheon want and need our love, want to be remembered and keep that connection with our realm/plane of existence. As for needing actual "
spouses"
though, I have no idea why the sudden surge.
I am not in any rush to go shouting from the mountains about being a Loki-wife or anything. In fact I was kinda leery about getting excited about the possibility - I didn't want to do it for all the wrong reasons. That card reading really blew me away but I'm not just gonna go "
well okay we're married now la-de-da."


Last edited by 97 on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:44 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Just.Christine on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:42 pm

I think things will return to normal for you again soon. Like I said in another thread: This marriage business seems to be taking place with almost frantic urgency. Perhaps the interference from outside forces is a pre-emptive attack of some sort. I just sense urgency and restlessness in all of this.
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by journeyintoinsanity on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:48 pm

Lokakisa wrote:I want to apologize if anything I said drug up some bad feelings in anyone. I sure don't want to sound like a special snowflake as I share my excitement and bewilderment.

Oh, goodness, no. Be happy! Be elated! I personally think we're all special snowflakes, so shout it from the rooftops. Smile My problem is my problem. I fight with my feelings constantly, but it's my own battle. I may rant a bit here and there, and sometimes I feel like a Debbie Downer on here, but by all means please DO post that you're insanely happy. And I'm insanely happy for you. Smile
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Lokakisa on Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:54 pm

Okay, good. I jsut didn't want to come off as insenstive.
Hm, I have heard others say that Loki has been busy lately, like with malevolent forces or Jotuns or something. (maybe even from some of the blogs of members here? I don't want to misquote)
I dunno if it's an individual thing, an Asgard thing, or if there really is a need to gather masses of loving, devoted followers.
I'll be honest, I was kind of scared at getting involved with Loki at all, as there are many warnings of his chaos and changes and trolling. But for me, and others I've read about, He's been more of a comfort than a scare. A friend, a father/mother, a mentor, a lover. That the answer to my questions was pretty much "
let go of you fear, stand confidently at my side"
was ... well I hate to use the word but, amazingly tender. Protective, perhaps? Even possessive?

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by journeyintoinsanity on Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:01 pm

Lokakisa wrote:Okay, good. I jsut didn't want to come off as insenstive.
Hm, I have heard others say that Loki has been busy lately, like with malevolent forces or Jotuns or something. (maybe even from some of the blogs of members here? I don't want to misquote)
I dunno if it's an individual thing, an Asgard thing, or if there really is a need to gather masses of loving, devoted followers.

Heavens, no... You're not insensitive. Not at all.
But now you and Christine have me thinking about a new facet of my experience. I think it was Moon Rouge who first planted the idea in my head about some other power trying to drive a wedge between Loki and me. But I believe I'll explore that idea in a separate thread.
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Moon Rouge on Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:41 pm

journeyintoinsanity wrote:I think it was Moon Rouge who first planted the idea in my head about some other power trying to drive a wedge between Loki and me.

Yeh, right, Moon Rouge.... Twisted Evil Loki did it! Laughing
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by journeyintoinsanity on Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:42 pm

It's always Loki. I should know better by now. Laughing
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Just.Christine on Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:47 pm

Don't worry Lokakisa. I was worried I would be ridiculed too. Or that people would roll their eyes at my experience. Some do. Either they dont understand it or refuse to accept it. Or both. Nobody here is going to give you a hard time about it.
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by erinlale on Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:44 pm

Lokakisa: Yes. It was originally supposed to have a human main character, but he decided he wanted to be the main character. This is how he showed back up in my life (after meeting him when I was a child) in November of 2013: I saw That Movie. The third one in the series. I thought, "
I bet I could write something more authentic than that."
Then he was there, with a gleeful laugh and a twinkle in his eye. Only I didn't think it was really him-- because he was cosplaying as That Other Loki. You would not believe how long it took me to realize, "
Duh, shapeshifter."
Anyway, I set out to retell the entire corpus of heathen lore, the mythology, folk tales, charms, everything, with original material inserted interstitially. Which is what I wrote. But it also turned into a vehicle for healing for me. I had always dealt with my problems through writing, and hopefully this is the final iteration of that particular issue. I'm currently working on the third draft.

So... For reasons it would take too long to explain, I consider the 28th of each month my anniversary, but the one year anniversary with Loki is coming up April 28th. I wonder if I should stage a ceremony? everyone else does that. But maybe that's a reason NOT to do it. We're all different, after all. But then again... would it still be a "
renewal of vows"
if we never made any in the first place? The act of putting the spiritual gift of the ring that only I can see on my hand was understood by both of us without words. By giving it to me, he promised not to abandon me, and by accepting it, I promised not to abandon him. No words needed. Would trying to affix words to it after the fact be, well, "
not us"
? Hmm... He himself seems not to need or want more than what I already give him whenever I have a chance at Loki-time. Significant things tend to happen on the 28th if I DON'T do somethng to mark that day, though. But they are good things, so... maybe that's HIM marking the day for me?

Anyway sorry to hijack the thread.

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Lokakisa on Thu Mar 12, 2015 12:28 pm

That's an awesome story! I look forward to reading your work.
Haha, "
That Movie"
and "
That Other Loki"
- what a great way to put it. It made me realize that what I'd been trying to say whenever I interspersed fandom in my posts, is that it DOES feel like He's cosplaying as The Other Guy. I swear sometimes I see things the actor/character does and go, "
that's Him, that's really Him coming through."

I've tried to make it clear that I DON'T worship HiddlesLoki. I just don't put it past RealLoki to use that pop culture image to connect to people, myself included.
Aww, that's really sweet about monthly anniversary time. As for the yearly anniversary? That could be party-time too, I guess? Maybe read (or write) some poetry if "
vows"
aren't really needed? A new treat or jewelry or decoration for the altar?

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by journeyintoinsanity on Thu Mar 12, 2015 3:41 pm

Erin, I can't wait until you're finished with your story and it's published, because I'm gonna read it! (I still need to get njm's book as well!) Smile

I swear sometimes I see things the actor/character does and go, "
that's Him, that's really Him coming through."
You know, I kinda wondered if the actor had a little "
help"
or divine inspiration in his portrayal. I asked Loki once if He influenced the performance, and I got a "
Hmm, wouldn't you like to know?"
:;
):
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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by erinlale on Fri Mar 13, 2015 12:38 am

Thanks!

Those are some good ideas. And maybe I could try to finish the book by then. Writing it has been an incredible healing journey. I live in both hope and dread of what people will think of it. A couple of times I've even heard what sounded like Loki's voice telling me to delete it. But I know that's my subconscious fears talking. Loki gave me this book to heal me, to bring me home, to open my head to the gods so I can hear and relay their messages, but also at a more mundane level to further my career (professional writer and editor) eventually. He knows I can't really afford to spend a year working on something to the exclusion of other things and not publish it. That's one instance when I'm sure that it's not really him talking when I hear that.

Anyway, new objects, that's a possibility.

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Re: becoming a godspouse?

Post by Just.Christine on Fri Mar 13, 2015 1:02 am

It's kind of hard to say one way or another whether Marvel characters received any actual inspiration from Lore Loki. Putting aside prejudice and keeping an open mind never hurt though. Time will tell. Experimentation is good too.

It's funny, I was just thinking about that the other day. What if someone were to ask Tom Hiddles if HE thought he might be inspired by Loki. I could totally see him not agreeing OR disagreeing just because that seems like a Hiddle thing to do. He would neither agree or disagree and have a huge, shit-eating grin.
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